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Small World - March 1999 (Creation humour; avalanche asteroids)

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Felicitations, friends!

We have a new enterprise afoot this month: this coming Friday, March 12th, is the famous annual Comic Relief Day in the UK, when the world and its car dons a daft red nose, does silly walks, and generally shows off its Monty Python genes!

Yesterday morning the founder of Comic Relief, Richard Curtis, was interviewed on Desert Island Discs (BBC Radio 4) and it struck me that it is but one small step from Comic to Cosmic, and why don't we do our bit for the fund_raising, as the astrological community?

What I would love each of you to do if your willing and able, is to send me a modest donation that I can forward to Comic Relief with their customised Bank Slip; there is a field on the slip for the donor(s) to tell the organisers what it was that they did to raise the funds donated. This means not only making our contribution, but a decent little bit of PR to boot!

If we can accomplish this before Friday March 12th it would be excellent, and as there are nearly 200 of you out there plus your own contacts we could send a really substantial cheque with little difficulty.

What you can do is either mail me a sterling cheque to Rev. Pam Crane (Cosmic Relief), The Mayors Arms, 63 The Street, Ospringe, Faversham, Kent M13 8TW, England, OR have a sterling draft sent directly to the following NatWest account (which I keep separate for fundraising) Account No.95193995 at National Westminster Bank (sort code 560051) PO Box 90, 13, Market Place, Faversham, Kent ME13 7DT, England. The account is in my full name, Rev. Pamela Ann Frances Crane. I shall start it off.

Now, if you also want to send something idiotic, whimsical or sidesplittingly funny in the way of a joke, story, JPEG cartoon file, poem, astrological project, or whatever for the next Small World, even better! My own effort is somewhat puny, but following this appeal I am offering a few bits and bobs of my own that haven't seen the light of day for years!... like this unserious poem I wrote about the Beginning of Everything, and the extremely funny Creation story that follows it, that I was sent by a websurfing friend!


One day which never existed, God

in solitary rage surprised Himself with a Thought

so unsustainable in the heretofore

He cracked the unflawed sheer shimmer of Monad in Equilibrium,

He broke Mind

mirrored in all directions,

He shivered Infinity

and the incorporeal mighty Hand that held it,

thus beginning seven days of Bad Luck as Time was born in the vortex.

Being God,

Resourceful, He stretched forth His other hand

upon the vortex, with an opposite charge

And Said: LET THERE BE LIGHT, and There Was light

flashing from splinter to splinter, aeon to age;

suns of a shattered hand blinked fire into and out of a myriad million dizzy reflections

glinting Godhead back,

curled timeshards

reduplicating spindrift, inkblot, starclot and coalsack

by which light a God could see His scattered parts

And Being

God, He Said:


Asunder upon the wind of

My unparalleled Imagination,


plusminus meets in the heart of light

a microcosmic god in the antimind, for this

is Matter of Moment; let there be Life, therefore,

so let there be Soul let there be male, and female

warring and mating; let there be holes for light to penetrate,

dramatic poles, north and south in collision, upwards, down

as in My excess I find

sorrow I cannot drown

in the necessity

for light to

mend Me by,

so will my Self,


twin of Me and


be lover of that Light,

his flesh a bandage for My fractured dignity

for a sevennight.

Till then,

Let every action have its equal and opposite reaction.

Let there be

Polarity, pendulum, fractal, parabola

And parity.

Thus Spake God.........

.........One Day that suddenly existed, as

a myriad million fragments of Forever

took their first lesson in strife and alchemy;

towards which sex, war, succour, science and sainthood,

the long, vain struggle to tie the strings of symphonies

between grass and the galaxy, Caligula and Christ

So many poles of puzzlement, poor manthing!

making itself slowly in God's other image,

feet on a star, head in the coalsack.

God forgot

to make men like snails. Here it is Sunday lunch

And still we have not mapped our route for the last afternoon

of our life; the future winks only briefly at us

out of the healing mirrors.

Some are struggling

To put their eyes out on stalks and see around corners

of the inconceivable before the last trump

is played, the last supper indigested and

the disbelievable unMichaelangelic Hand

reach forth to converge the silver trails

of the slow, vulnerable, visionary sun

housing the soul in helix.

Here they come,

a few at a time,

the unrejected cells;

a Miracle is made.

The Wound


Thy Hand, O God

may close the eyes of Time but it is built of us!...

We who have put out the cat may be most unwilling to

put out the stars the cat and we have hunted our dreams by,

may be discontent;

may fidget with the smoothed fabric of Space,

finger the substance of the Maker's Dream,

flex the muscles of a new idea

Spring a surprise.


>Subject: God, PC and the Creation



>>The Creation

>>In the beginning there was the computer. And God said, "Let there be

>>light!" And God logged on on Sunday, 1 March

>>Enter user id.


>>Enter password.


>>Password incorrect. Try again.


>>Password incorrect. Try again.


>>Access granted.

>>c:\>Let there be light!

>>Unrecognisable command. Try again.

>>c:\>Create light


>>c:\>Run light

>>And God created day and night, saw there were 0 errors and logged


>>And God logged on Monday, 2 March.

>>c:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light

>>Unrecognisable command. Try again.

>>c:\>Create firmament


>>c:\>Run firmament

>>And God divided the waters, saw there were 0 errors and logged off.

>>And God logged on Tuesday, 3 March.

>>c:\>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together and let dry land

>>appear and...

>>Too many characters in specification string. Try again.

>>c:\>Create dryland


>>c:\>Run dryland

>>And God saw there were 0 errors and logged off.

>>And God logged on Wednesday, 4 March.

>>c:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night

>>Unspecified type. Try again.

>>c:\>Create sunmoonstars


>>c:\>Run sunmoonstars

>>And God separated light from darkness, and sun ruled over the day and

>>moon and stars ruled over night. And God saw there were 0 errors and

>>logged off.

>>And God logged on Thursday, 5 March.

>>c:\>Create fish, fowl


>>c:\>Run fish, fowl

>>c:\>Create cattle


>>c:\>Create creepythings


>>c:\>Run cattle, creepythings

>>And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that

>>creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged

>>fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors and logged off.

>>And God logged on Friday, 6 March.

>>c:\>Now let us make man in our image

>>Unspecified type. Try again.

>>c:\>Create Man


>>c:\>Run Man

>>c:\>Be fruitful, multiply, replenish the earth and have dominion over

>>the fish of the sea and the fowl of the air and every living thing...

>>Too many command operands. Try again.

>>c:\>Run multiplication

>>Execution terminated. 6 errors.

>>c:\>Insert breath


>>c:\>Run multiplication

>>Execution terminated. 5 errors.

>>c:\>Move man to garden of Eden

>>File Garden of Eden does not exist.

>>c:\>Create Garden.edn


>>c:\>Move man to Garden.edn


>>c:\>Run multiplication

>>Execution terminated. 4 errors.

>>c:\>Copy woman from man


>>c:\>Run multiplication

>>Execution terminated. 3 errors.

>>c:\>Create desire


>>c:\>Run multiplication

>>Execution terminated. 2 errors.

>>c:\>Create freewill


>>c:\>Run freewill

>>And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in


>>Note: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

>>c:\>Undo desire

>>Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.

>>c:\>Destroy freewill

>>Freewill is inaccessible and cannot be destroyed. Replace, cancel or

>>ask for help.


>>Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created. Freewill is an

>>inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter replacement, cancel

>>or ask for help.

>>c:\>Create treeofknowledge


>>c:\>Run treeofknowledge

>>And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in


>>Note: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.

>>c:\>Create good, evil


>>c:\>Activate evil

>>And God saw shame created.

>>Warning: system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in Garden.edn.

>>1 errors.

>>c:\>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman

>>Search failed.

>>c:\>Delete shame

>>Shame cannot be deleted with evil active.


>>Unrecognisable command. Try again.



>>Attention: computer going down for day of maintenance in five minutes.

>> Please log off.

>>c:\>Create new world

>>Allocated file space exceeded. Destroy old files before creating New


>>c:\>Destroy earth

>>Destroy earth: Please confirm.

>>c:\>Destroy earth confirmed

>>Computer down computer down. Services will resume Sunday, 8 March.

>>On 8 March, God created the Macintosh.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Now for Any Other Business!

This begins with an apology for the conspicuous lack of overtly astrological content this issue this is because I am in the middle of the Draconic Astrology book rewrite, which will take me some weeks yet, and Small World should be it's normal self (apart from the bonus, DV, of your funny bits!) by April '99.

And a bit of topical data:

Date of Birth of King Abdullah of Jordan 30th January 1962 in Amman. Mother Queen Muna, nee Antoinette (Toni) Gardiner, from Bridge, near Canterbury, where her family ran a pub. The new King Abdullah had his 37th birthday on January 30th this year. This info came from one of the broadsheets on the day of King Hussein's funeral.

The avalanches in the Alps last month occurred as a rule in the afternoon, when the day's warmer temperatures had loosened the snow cover. For the major one at Galtur ( and probably others) the pattern was for the culmination of Saturn at the setting of Uranus. As they occurred within a few days of each other, the asteroid positions for Galtur, below, will not have changed too much. The axial contacts are very striking.

This list comes edited from Solar Fire's custom asteroid report on the chart, tropical and draconic.



Avalanche Galtur Natal Chart Tropical

Asteroid Set: Avalanches

* Atropos 273 15 Le54 R        Opp Ura 1 54' A Cnj Asc 1 35' A

* Austria 136 12 Sg10            Opp Mon 0 55' A Cnj Plu 1 46' S

* French 3506 03 Le37 R        Opp Nep 0 35' A Tri Chi 0 08' A

* Frostia 854 06 Cn22 R

* Guest 4325 28 Ta42

* Montana 797 18 Pi50            Cnj Mer 0 53' S

* Rockefellia 904 12 Sg42       Opp Mon 1 27' A Cnj Plu 2 18' S

* Siva 1170 24 Vi48 R

* Stone 5841 06 Ta38                Opp Mar 2 41' A

* Stoss 6106 01 Cp54               Sqr Ven 0 16' S Sqr Jup 0 28' A

* Summa 1928 17 Vi58 R            Opp Mer 1 44' S

* Swift 5035 16 Aq19                  Cnj Ura 2 19' S Opp Asc 2 00' S

* Swissair 2138 10 Sc51               Cnj Mar 1 33' A

* Villigera 1310 11 Sc57               Cnj Mar 2 38' A


Avalanche Galtur draconic Natal Chart

* Atropos 273 23 Pi49 R  (death)    Opp Ura 1 54' A Cnj Asc 1 35' A

* Austria 136 20 Cn05                    Opp Mon 0 55' A Cnj Plu 1 46' S

* French 3506 11 Pi32 R                   Opp Nep 0 35' A Tri Chi 0 08' A

* Frostia 854 14 Aq16 R

* Guest 4325 06 Cp37   (for the tourists, the visitors)

* Montana 797 26 Li44                    Cnj Mer 0 53' S

* Rockefellia 904 20 Cn37' (rock fall)            Opp Mon 1 27' A Cnj Plu 2 18' S

* Siva 1170 02 Ta42 R

* Stone 5841 14 Sg32                        Opp Mar 2 41' A

* Stoss 6106 09 Le49  (meaning impact, collision)    Sqr Ven 0 16' S Sqr Jup 0 28' A

* Summa 1928 25 Ar53 R  (mountain top)       Opp Mer 1 44' S

* Swift 5035 24 Vi14                        Cnj Ura 2 19' S Opp Asc 2 00' S

* Swissair 2138 18 Ge46                 Cnj Mar 1 33' A

* Villigera 1310 19 Ge51b (for 'village')           Cnj Mar 2 38' A

There That's it for the moment; please do support COSMIC RELIEF! The chart for the idea is excellent, so be assured this is a most worthwhile little venture on our collective part.

God bless, have fun this week,